Back to the Hospital

      Matt brought the boys down this past weekend and we celebrated Jack's birthday.  I can't believe he is four!!! I remember how much he cried when he was delivered, he screamed from the moment he came out until the moment we were reunited in my recovery room.  I had a c-section, so while I remained getting sewn up and such Matt went with Jack to the nursery to be with him while he was weighed, bathed and so forth...he screamed the whole time! Not cried, no, no, screamed, but once he was back in my arms he settled down.  Now he is a vivacious four year old who while running through the house will, every so often, stop out of no where to give me a kiss!  I am so grateful for his sweet spirit.
       Reminiscing on the past four years I can't help but wonder what the next four years...four weeks.... four babies will be like. I think our world has already been changed dramatically??? ha! We need to buckle up and get ready for this ride.
        On Tuesday I went back into labor and delivery triage with intense contractions.  I was given fluids and meds to try and stop them; unfortunately, hours later of the contractions continuing to come every three to five minutes, my doctor decides to admit me and put me on 24 hours of magnesium. I had not dialated, but with how often and intense the contractions were, he wanted to stop them before they caused me to dilate or one of my waters to break. I had to have a contraction monitor on, plus each baby had to have a monitor on.  My uterus is already stretched to max, and very tender from the contractions, and trying to keep four babies on monitors is nearly impossible. Every few minutes I had a nurse on each side trying to push down and maneuver the monitor to better pick up the baby.  My patience was thinning, and my temperature(metaphorically speaking) was rising.  Being on mag is a slow boiling of your insides! I feel it most in my eyes. If you have every had a candy fireball, you know that once the first bit of sugar/cinnamon coating is off, that's when the real heat kicks in...that is what my eyeballs felt like.  I started sweating, and I got very nauseous. Magnesium also makes your muscles loose, so I had to, despite my protest, have a catheter put it.  I let my nurse know that I had to go to the bathroom and assured her that I could walk the 5 feet to it, but she would not budge on the rules.  So she and another nurse got me set for my catheter, and of course my bladder was so full that when the catheter was attached urine sprayed everywhere!!!  I was pissed...in more ways than one! Now my insides were boiling from the magnesium and my emotions were boiling from circumstance.  I started breathing very loudly with my hands over my face, trying not to loose it on these poor nurses who were scrambling to get me cleaned up. Afterward, they were right back on my belly trying to get the monitors to stay on the babies, and boom, intense contraction.  Having a contraction is bad enough, having a contraction with someone pushing down on your uterus is torture.  She kept apologizing, but said she had to get the babies back on.  The other nurse kept trying to talk to me, "tell me what's going on, breathe, you gotta talk to me." I was using everything I had to be able to breathe...I didn't feel like chatting!  As the contraction let go, the night doctor and medical student came into the room and said "ok, it's time to check your cervix!"  That was it...my breaking point, I was done!  I started bawling, I mean snot and tears bawling.  That poor medical student just stared at me with wide eyes.  The doctor sat on the end of my bed and asked what was wrong.  I muttered through my sobs  "there's  no way anything else can go inside of me... there is too much pressure...I can't do this..." She then said that we should just take everything off, and give me a minute to myself.  I said "can(sob sob sob) it be (snorting back of snot) 20(labored breathing) minutes? She said no problem, got me a cold rag for my head and then asked if I needed some anti-anxiety medication.  I told her no, I just needed some time.  The doc and student left and the nurses got to work unhooking all the monitors. Then one nurse decided to give me a big hug and tell me that God gave me these babies and He would get me through this.  I so appreciated her kindness, but in that particular moment, I just wanted everything off of me.  She said "you see a hug only works if you hug back"  I started crying again and said thank you...but I'm not much of a hugger. She did not take that as an excuse and continued to hug me until I hugged back.  Praise Jesus, He took over that moment and allowed me to hug her and thank her, because the Julie in me wanted to jump out that bed and b-line it out of the room, I was so overwhelmed and feeling smothered. After everyone had left and everything was off of my belly, I continued to cry for a few minutes and prayed for God to give me His strength because I had none left.  My breathing returned to normal and I was able to calm down.  Thankfully I had scored one of the last fans on the L&D floor and had the nurses turn it up before they left.  30 minutes later the nurses returned and asked if it was ok for the doctor to come in and check me.  I agreed, but asked that they wait to put the monitors back on after I got checked, pressure from the inside and the outside just didn't sound like a good idea.  I was checked and still had not dilated. I asked the doctor if we could alternate two babies on, two babies off, my uterus just couldn't handle the outside pressure on it.  Thankfully she agreed, which was great news for my nurses, because they no longer would have to spend their whole night holding and adjusting monitors.  The contraction monitor had to stay on at all times, and we would alternate having A & D and B&C monitored every hour.  That combination was chosen because they are on opposite sides, which reduces the likely hood that the monitors would be picking up the same baby.
           I don't know if it was the magnesium or all the emotions, but I was feeling very nauseous.  I was given some anti-nausea medicine but an hour or so later, I started having that "I'm trying really hard not to have to vomit, but it will be inevitable" feeling.  I let my nurse know and she was able to get me another anti-nausea medicine.  Not two minutes later, I was throwing up.  I had this little bag-in-cup- thing the nurse had set beside my bed, and good thing because I nearly filled that bag up.  As much as I hated being on a clear liquid diet, at that moment I was very grateful!  I felt better afterward, unbelievably exhausted...but better.  That night I was able to sleep about 20 minutes of every hour.  The nurses would come in at the top of the hour to switch to the next set of babies, it would take 10-20 minutes to get the babies on, and I would often have a contraction when my uterus was disturbed.  By the time I was able to fall asleep it was time to switch again.
           I was on the magnesium for 18 hours and although it did not completely knock out the contractions, I went from having a contractions every three minutes to only 1 or 2 every hour(and those seemed to occur when my uterus was disturbed).  It wasn't even a full hour after I was taken off the mag that the contractions started back.  I had been put back on procardia(helps relax the uterus and slow contractions) when I was taken off the mag.  Even on the procardia the time between the contractions was shortening, but I had just been told I could eat, and I wanted to eat so badly.  I am always hungry and love food, even when I'm not pregnant, but being pregnant and pregnant with multiples, one can only go so long without food!  The babies were becoming restless as well.  My nurse had been watching my contraction monitor from her screen outside my room and came in.  I pleaded with her to wait until after I ate before she let the docs know my contractions were picking up. She said she would do her best.  My cousin's friend was in route bringing me lunch.  She arrived shortly after and I ate my half sandwich and soup and enjoyed it as if it were my last meal.  She also brought me a huge slice of chocolate cake!  Just as I was about to dive into the chocolatey goodness the doctor walked in.  I froze with cake on fork mid way to my mouth.  She smiled and told me to go ahead! Since I hadn't dilated they were not going to put me back on the mag but were going to add in Tordol(high dose liquid iv IB Profen), which would help in relaxing the uterus and with the pain.  Only downfall is you can't be on it long, because it will affect the fluid around the babies.  The contractions never stopped, but calmed in intensity and frequency.
           Thursday morning I continued on with the monitoring but was taken off the Tordol.  I was

Baby C
(the only one willing to reveal his face for a 3-D shot)

wheeled down to ultra sound with the plan that if I still had not dilated and babies all looked good(good cord blood flow, were breathing and moving, and showed good fluid) I would be allowed to go back to the RMH(Ronald McDonald House).  Ultra sound went well, but the babies had to have one more NST(non-stress test) done, two at a time, for 30 minutes, before I would be released.  Baby A & D passed with flying colors, but B & C were not being cooperative.  They kept moving off the monitor and Baby C showed a few decelerations. When the doctor looked at their results she ordered that baby C be monitored for an additional 20min and if no decel showed, I could go.  Thankfully he passed!  I finally got back to the RMH around 4pm. I immediately took a shower and a nap!
     
         This whole experience is often surreal and presents many questions.  I am the only advocate for my babies and I try and ask as many questions as possible. Here is what I know:
     - there is no set delivery date(my doctor will let me keep going as long as babies and I are not in danger)
     - my doctor does not anticipate me making it to 32 weeks and will consider 30 weeks to be a home run!  that being said, again he will not choose to deliver me at 30 weeks if everything is going well.
     - areas of concern as the pregnancy progresses are contractions(that lead to dilation and or water breaking) and my blood pressure, pre-eclampsia is common in multiples and very serious as it can lead to a stroke.
     - I am to continue with my weekly ultra sound and doctor's appointment, but if I have contractions like I did Tuesday, or if my water were to break, I go back to the hospital.
     - I am 28 weeks tomorrow and that is a huge milestone for babies!!! every day counts, but 30 weeks is my next goal!

Thank you for your continued support and prayers!