The Baby Shower and The Bad News...

 Even though the last part of the day is hard for me, I very much enjoyed the baby shower my mom and sister threw for me.  I woke up that morning spent some time watching cartoons with the boys, ate breakfast and then had to rest.  I got up, took a shower...rest, got up, did my hair...rest,  got up, had my lunch...rest!  When my mom and sister came over a few hours before shower time, I had pretty hair, no make-up, was in pjs and laying, belly propped, on my bed.  As start time approached, I was able to sit on a stool in my bathroom and finish getting ready. For the first part of the shower however,  I was barefoot!! at least I was wearing pants!!  Friends and family filled my house with love and support for these precious babies.  Unwrapping all the diapers, wipes, blankets, onesies, etc was so joyful yet overwhelming.  I talk about the quads so much that I had forgotten that they are four individual babies!  Ironic, I know, but seeing custom made blankets with their names on them, hanging over their 4 individual cribs brought me to tears.  I am having FOUR babies!!! I am becoming lightheaded writing about it now!  Of course I have always known, but I think for sanity sake I drift in and out of the reality of it all.  Typically I am kicked back into reality when I'm kicked in four various places in my belly, or when I struggle to roll over or stand up, or when I am on all fours just trying to breathe well, or any of those other magical moments that have occurred in carrying these babies.

     My favorite part of yesterday was in the evening, after everyone had gone, I carefully walked upstairs into their nursery and looked at all the wonderful, generous gifts that were layed out and organized(quick shout out to my friend Mandy for doing that, It's nice to have a type A personality friend when I am completely opposite!)and I was able to sit down and read the sweet sentiments, prayers, and well wishes that everyone had written in their cards to me. You know when you are opening the gifts, you just glance at the card, see who it from and the precede to open the gift, that is how the shower ran.  I am so unbelievably grateful for the gifts, but the heartfelt words...I just can't describe how much they mean to me and how they lift my spirits.
     
        This whole pregnancy has been filled with uncertainty.  Last week I received a call from my OB saying that she would be turning me over to my MFM(Dr. Rosemond) for a while, since all she really does is check my blood pressure, the heart beats and then sends me on my way, and since I am on bed rest, she didn't want me getting out when I don't have to.  That conversation happened on Tuesday.  On Wednesday I received a call from Dr. Rosemond saying he had been talking with the Head Neonatologist(the one that Matt and I spent two hours with the week prior) and that he(Dr. K) no longer felt comfortable having us deliver at his hospital unless I was over 30 weeks!!!  I was SHOCKED!!! Where in the world did this bad news come from?  Just last week that doctor spent 2 hours with us touring the NICU and explaining how they had everything necessary to best take care of our babies...and now...randomly he changed his mind?!  It would be one thing if the NICU was not able to meet the needs of our babies, but the week before, he had proven otherwise.  So what happened in a week?  Why now?  I asked Dr. Rosemond what that meant for my delivery and he said you can either go to Atlanta or I would recommend Augusta.  He continued to say that if my cervix was continuing to funnel at my next appointment,  he didn't see the reason to keep seeing me here.  He went on to explain that if I were to go into labor in Athens, it would not be good seeing as how the hospitals here couldn't take my babies!!! I again asked what that meant.  He said that if my cervix was continuing to funnel then he thought it would be best to go ahead and send me to stay in Augusta until the babies were born!  WHOA!  more shock!  I felt like my team of doctors was throwing in the towel, none having delivered and dealt with quads before, they just didn't want the responsibility and the liability that comes with this pregnancy and birth.  It would be different if from the beginning they had said "we can take you to this many weeks and then you will need to go to Augusta."  That would have allowed us time to plan for help with the boys and our work.  It would have given us time to tour the hospital and meet with the Doctors that would be taking care of us.  And above all that, it would have been polite!!!  I am emotional anyway, times that by four, add the in the feelings of uncertainty, confusion, and abandonment and get the recipe for a breakdown! We will, of course, do what is best for my health and the health of these babies, but it didn't feel like that was the reasoning behind the change.  It felt like the decision was made out of fear.   I say "felt" because no one has given me the real explanation, so I can't speak in fact to why; however, I did email the director of the NICU and voiced my concerns and was asking for some clarity.  She sent my email on and I will be meeting with Dr. K on Thursday.
       I had my cervix check today and Praise God, no real change in the funneling, so that buys me two more weeks!!  I am still on bed rest, and will continue to be for the remainder of this pregnancy, but at least for the next two weeks I will be home!  Don't all these doctors understand these babies have a HUGE support system that is praying for them!  These 23 week old babies are motivated little boogers!

Thank you all for your continued support, prayers, well wishes and letters.  I can't wait to one day reflect back on this journey with each of them so they can see how much they were loved and prayed for.

  I love reading your letters, keep them coming!  P.O. Box 1573 Watkinsville, Ga 30677